


The gang does a heist

by JaxMan



Series: SpiderSnake [5]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:28:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22837051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaxMan/pseuds/JaxMan
Summary: This is a spinoff that I started, but I got bored with it.
Relationships: Angel Dust/Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel)
Series: SpiderSnake [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1641484
Kudos: 11





	The gang does a heist

"So, here's the plan."  
Angel Dust: former pornstar and current bank robber.  
"Pent's new machine can get through the vault door in five minutes flat."  
Sir Pentious: engineer, gentleman, infernal warlord.  
"But it ain't stealthy, so we're gonna need a distraction. Cherri?"  
"'Sup?"  
Cherri Bomb: gangster, explosives expert, self proclaimed 'Bad Bitch.'.  
"You got the 'surprise?'"  
The one-eyed punk flashed a toothy grin.  
"Fuck yeah, I do."  
"Aright, that's what I like ta hear! You buy us enough time, and we'll get the Mech into place."  
The Mech: Pent's latest invention, a walking tank of brass, gears, and guns.   
"We break in, take the gold, and leave. Now, here's the issue: this bank's got the largest security force in Pentagram City. This ain't no small-time shit like Valentino's."  
Gilden-Mammon Bank: Hell's largest producer of debts and debt slaves.   
"That's where the Egg-boys come in. They can shoot as good as anybody here, 'xept me, of course."  
That was a *bit* of an exaggeration, but still. They wanted in, and how could he say 'no' to those adorable little bastards?  
"Now, the Mech ain't fast, so we need a getaway vehicle. Penny, show 'em what ya got."  
Sir Pentious slithered in from the shadows. God, what a drama queen!   
"Ladies and Gentlemen: the Heavy Zeppelin III."  
The projector behind him flickered to life. All eyes in the dark room focused on the airship displayed.  
"Lighter and faster than its predecessor, but still equipped with heavy-calibre cannons, an armored crew compartment, and a minibar."  
Angel and Cherri exchanged excited glances as Pent continued.  
"We will arrive in the Zeppelin. I blast the roof off, lower in the Mech, and blow the vault open. We lift the gold onto the zeppelin, and escape."  
Angel took over once again, with renewed energy.  
"Any questions?"  
Silence.  
"Aright, let's roll."

The night before the heist.  
It felt good, dissing his old boss. Real fuckin' good.  
Maybe that's why Angel took every cheap jab he could at the cockroach.  
But that was in the past. He was his own boss, now.  
It was just him and Penny.  
Angel looked to his slumbering lover on the other side of the bed.  
At least someone could sleep before the job.  
He'd robbed some small-time banks, alive and in Hell, but this was Gilden-Mammon!  
He wondered, not for the first time, if he had gone fuckin' insane.  
His sleepless eyes wandered across his boyfriend's body.  
How the fuck could he sleep so well?

Colose your eyes and stay still. Soon, you'll fall asleep.  
Sir Pentious wasn't finding that advice too helpful.  
Angel was quiet. Was he already sleeping?  
Well, at least someone was.

The Mammon Lineage, Abridged.  
Mammon was one of the original rebel angels cast into Hell, where he took his name.  
His wives have been numerous, and often remain anonymous, but his offspring include the following:  
Invictus Mammon, an expert manipulator and secret leader of numerous Earthly corporations.  
Dominus Mammon, co-founder of the Gilden-Mammon Bank and owner of thousands of debt-slaves.  
Sinestrix Mammon, Mafioso. Her exploits are largely unknown, even to her own siblings.  
Mammon has other descendants, but none have achieved the level of notoriety of these three.

Zero hour, 2 AM.  
Far above the central district of Pentagram city, an airship moved into place.  
It descended quickly, almost in freefall, before slowing to a hover above the Gilden-Mammon Bank.  
Before anyone in the building could react, a single explosive shell punctured the roof, destroying the upper floors and backup generator.  
The alarm system was beyond repair, not that anyone needed it.  
Smoke filled the hallways, driving out the remaining demons.  
Pentagram City had no real police, but corporate security would flood the place soon enough.  
An instant alter the blast, the Mech was lowered from the Zeppelin with heavy cables.  
The vault, located in the basement, was largely unharmed. Not for long.  
The Mech's cannon made short work of the locking mechanism. By the time the smoke cleared, the vault door was open.  
Three demons began loading gold bars into the Mech as the Security forces' shouting ans scuffling footsteps drew ever closer.  
There were a lot of 'em. More than Angel expected.  
"Hey, Cherri? How 'bout that 'surprise?'"

What do you get when you mix smoke bombs with pulverized angelic spearheads?  
Exactly what you'd expect.  
Normal toxins had little effect on someone who was already dead. The powdered spears *probably* wouldn't be lethal, but they'd delay healing.  
Suspended in the smoke, the powder clung to walls, clothing, skin, anything. If more guards showed up, they'd disturb it, too.  
And Cherri had made dozens of the things.  
Her grin only widened as the prospect of horrific violence danced across her mind.  
"On it. Don't you dare leave without me."  
Moments later, the security forces thrashed on the floor, eyes and lungs burning, begging for it to all be over.  
Their screams echoed through the halls, finding the vault, and mixing with the sounds of a collapsing building.  
Angel loved the sound of chaos. It felt like victory.  
Only one thing could've made it better.  
"Hey, Penny?"  
As he loaded the last brick onto the Mech, Pent looked back at the mischievous spider.  
"Yes?"  
"Ever done it in a bank vault?"

His back up against the thick metal wall, Sir Pentious reached for his lover's chest, running his fingers through the fluff.  
He barely gasped as Angel penetrated him, hardly audible against the distant sounds of gunfire and Cherri's maniacal laughter.  
Two hands held his waist as two more stroked the sides of his face. His twin members, fully erect, brushed against a soft, slender belly.  
"You holding out on me, Angel?"  
His words were barely a teasing whisper against the pandemonium from outside the vault.  
"Never, babe~"  
On cue, the third and final pair of arms unfolded.  
Pentious closed his eyes as Angel's hands worked their magic. His touch never got old, no matter how many times they'd made love.  
He reached up to the sides of the spider's face, pulling him in for a long kiss.  
The gentle thrusting of his manhood, the soft hands working each shaft, the adrenaline of the heist, it all came together perfectly.  
He practically melted as twin orgasms shocked his core, forcing one last gasp from his lips.  
Soon after, Angel finished. The two stayed there, the rush fading from their minds and bodies.  
Then the distant chaos got closer.  
As they scrambled to fasten their clothing, Cherri rushed back in.  
"They brought gas masks. Let's go."  
"Yeah, sure. Just, uh, watch your step."  
Cherri looked at the floor, then at Pent, then at Angel. She gave an exasperated sigh.  
"Are you *fucking* serious?"

Gunfire rang out across the rubble-strewn halls, echoing through the decimated bank.   
Time to leave.  
Most of the gold fit in the Mech's cockpit, but not with a pilot. The trio would have to cling to the machine's exterior.  
As the gold-laden three ascended, the airship lurched under the immense payload. Still, the thick steel cables held.  
They rose, shielded from gunfire by the Mech's massive frame, through the bomb doors and into the waiting zeppelin.  
Then, just minutes after arriving, the airship sped off. One demon took the helm, two others hit the minibar, and a small crew of egg-boys opened a bottle of champagne.  
All over the carpet. Perfect.  
...  
"Mister Mammon."  
"Please, Johnathan. We're all friends, here."  
Dominus Mammon, Co-owner of the Gilden-Mammon Bank, lay on his cushion, his sphinx-like body fully relaxed.   
Johnathan Gilden, however, lived in fear of his business partner.  
The richest mortal in Hell was nothing compared to the raw, arcane power of the Mammon bloodline.  
"Dominus, I'm so, so sorry, I-"  
The massive demon interrupted with a snort. A laugh?   
"Oh, *Johnathan.* Mistakes happen all the time! I'll add this to your debt, and you can be on your way."  
Johnathan knew the demon wouldn't kill him, eat him, or flay him alive. But some part of his lizard brain still cowered in fear.  
"How much shall we add, hmm? Twenty years? Does that sound fair to you?"  
Twenty more years of servitude. Every mistake, every favor asked, every misfortune came with a price.  
"Yes, Dominus. That sounds fair."  
He dared not argue. He owed close to two hundred years of loyal service already. Why risk more?  
"Good, good! Run along now, mortal."  
Gilden left the chamber just slowly enough to mask his fear.   
"And Johnathan..."  
He hesitated, just long enough to hear his master's baritone voice.  
"Do be careful. And *useful.*"


End file.
